Positively Depressed

When it rains put on a cute pair of wellies and dance in the rain.

Little you

nurture, the child within

I would tell her:

That I love her just for being her spacey, disorganized self.

 That I love her –  imperfections and all.

 That she doesn’t have to try to fix everything.

That when she makes a mistake, I’ll help her work through it.

 That it’s ok to not feel strong sometimes and when she feels weak I’ll be there to pick her up.

 That she doesn’t have to push down her emotions but she can allow herself to feel them in order to process them.

 I would tell her how proud I am of her – just the way she is.

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Tired?

I used to feel like a weakling because I don’t have the physical stamina other people have.

 I require a LOT of sleep.

 Once, I told my doctor about how I often feel exhausted in the afternoon.

 She turned to me and said, “You know, if you are tired in the afternoon – you should take a nap.”

 It was a ridiculously easy solution.

 But not the one I wanted.

 I wanted her to make me into someone who didn’t require a lot of sleep.

 There is freedom in accepting how I am wired.

Now, when I am tired, I enjoy a nap.  tired, exhaustion, comparison, depresson

The Path to Freedom

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us…

This is how Jesus taught us to pray. It is a life guide straight from the mouth of God.

Now, we know that God offered total forgiveness to us, but we often only offer partial forgiveness to others.

We hold a little back, just because.

Jesus taught us to pray this way to highlight the disparity between the way we forgive and the way God forgives.

When we stop holding back, we can release people from the prison of our unforgiveness

and free ourselves at the same time.

freedom

There is HOPE

HOPE = my favorite word.

I’ll let you in on a secret. It’s tattooed on my back!! It was a spontaneous decision. Even thought it’s small, I probably wouldn’t do it again if I had a do-over. However, if I am going to have any word imprinted on my body, I am glad it is HOPE.

BUT

Hope without a promise is just a wish.

 If you are not placing your hope in God, who promises to walk you through the fire and protect you from being consumed, then hope is empty.

There is HOPE and there are many promises to back it up.

hope, depression, fire, Isaiah 43:1 

Heart health

The other day I went to have routine blood work done.  The good news is that she said I am a poster child for heart health and I have the kidneys of a healthy 15 year old.

As I drove home I thought to myself, “Too bad there isn’t a blood test to check the shape of our spiritual heart.”  The one that houses our spirit, our soul and our emotions.  Usually we don’t know there is a problem there until symptoms appear at times manifesting as depression and anxiety.

There isn’t a blood test, but a little introspection goes a long way.

(More on this subject on my main blog today)

broken heart, Psalm 147:3, healing, depression

Don’t just survive ~ THRIVE!

When you have felt low for a long time it can be easy to fall into survival mode.  Small steps of progress should be celebrated, but we should not settle for surviving.  There is much more to life than just making it day to day.

 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly ~ John 10:10

Depression steals joy and life.  God gives life and gives it abundantly.

 It’s ok for surviving to be your short term goal.

 Just make sure that THRIVING is your long-term goal.

THRIVE

Different but not worse

No one else would be able to tell, but I can see the difference.

When I look at pictures of her before, I see someone oblivious to deep pain.  There had been sadness before, but not the kind of heartache that begs time to rewind itself.

When I look at pictures of her since, I see something that wasn’t there before.

Resolve.

Resolve to make sure that the pain was not in vain. I see someone who recognizes pain in others and offers hope.

They thank her but she should thank them.

Giving hope, births even more hope inside of her.

gone through

There is a love

When you feel unlovely,

When you feel like your world is caving in,

When the tears won’t stop,

When you feel like darkness is overtaking you,

When you feel alone

And even when you don’t deserve it,

 There is a love.

There is a love that is patient and kind, that doesn’t hold a record of your wrongs, that bears all of your burdens and sadness and can hold you and sustain you until the sun shines again.

Image

Fragile

You feel fragile because you are.

We all are.

Some people just hide it better than others.

God crafted each of us with His hands; a collection of fragile earthen jars containing precious treasures.

But because we live in a fallen world, every jar has cracks.

Some are just more visible than others.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Cor 4: 7-8 

fragile jars of clay, life is fragile, depression, treasure in earthen vessels

 

 

You are stronger than you think

You never know how strong you are until your strength is tested.

I remember being in college and having a heart to heart chat with a friend late at night. We were talking about our moms. I distinctly remember saying, “I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to my mom.”

But now I know.  And the answer is that I would dig down deep inside of me to find that resilient part of the human spirit that God put inside of  each of us. I would rely on His strength.

Then, I would continue my pilgrimage and be blessed!

strength to strength, pilgrimage,